Hey Fam! I know I've been gone for a minute, but y'all know how that goes. Real life must come first. Promise we'll get caught up real soon. I will tell you guys that that BIOTCH ASS NO GOOD LYING WATER-HEAD BASTARD (does that sound harsh? *shrug*)"G" is a thing of the past. Started off like skittles 'n sunshine...ended with one helluva disastrous BANG!!
Sad at first...yes. But I done already told y'all...NO ONE...and I do mean NOT NAN MUFUGGA...is gonna steal my happiness EVA AGAIN!!! And when I realized who he really is as a person, it made it so much easier to do what I know I need to do...keep smiling and live my damn life!
Then my girl MJB put the icing on the cake on my way into work this morning! Going back to my theme song from a couple years back...
...but this one's a lil different from hump days past...there's actually gonna be some humpin goin on!!!
WHOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!!!
*cartwheel...roundoff...sommersault...*
That's right...'cause come around 9pm this evening...G should be pulling into my driveway...and I cant wait!!!
*dancin around singing "My Boyfriends Back...and you're gonna be in trouble...heeey naw...hey naw...MY BOTFRIENDS BACK!"* hehehehehe
Even though we've been talking about getting back together, he's been in Texas and as far as I was concerned, was probably just talk alot of shit and I really wasn't taking him seriously. But now that I know he's en route for Cleveland...I cant help but get excited!
Funny, but just the other day one of my ex's ask me why it is that G gets passes on alot of shit that I wont let anyone else get away with. I told him it was because G does for me what none of you other men in the past have done. He gives me affection. He knows its not how hard he humps me or how good he eats coochie (and LAWD is he good) that leaves me satisfied & fulfilled...it's his kisses and telling me how beautiful I look while he's making love to me. It's holding me afterwards and telling me he's never letting me go. It's his quick stops by the house in the middle of the day just to give me a hug & tell me he was thinking of me. Yeah...I think that's what I'm looking forward to most...that hug...it just makes me melt...
Funny how life works, huh? This time last week I was (slightly) sulking about yet another man...but here I am today on one more high...
and this is one high I'm gonna (literally) ride the SHYT out of!!!!
Hey fam! I know I'm slippin, but real life has had your girl on the go like a mufugga lately. So lets get caught up real quick, shall we...
The Highs...
(High #1)Went to Game 2 Cavs/Pistons with my boy J, and had a mufuggin BALL! No floor seats this time...we were in a loge. EVEN BETTER! Free food, free dranks, AND the Cavs won!!! YEAH BOY!!! J was on his best behavior...back to being the friend that I love him for. We talked damn near all night, mostly him telling me to keep my head up when dealing with these no good men. J went back to the "D" with an attitude 'cause his home team got SPANKED *hehehehehe...not in our house buddy*, but I had a GREAT time.
(High #2)So if y'all remember, I mentioned a while back that I told my employer I needed a raise. Well, we've been in "negotiations" for the last several months...and, in case y'all missed the announcement on my FB page, last Friday (which also happened to be my 4 year anniversary on the job) my income got a long overdue 5 figure boost!!!!
WHOOOOO-HOOOOOO *doin my "get that money" dance*
(High #3)Reconnected with my "heart" last weekend. This is someone whom I dated a long time ago, he wasn't the relationship type so we broke up as friends (with benefits), but had a falling out a while back and haven't been in touch for a while. We had a good talk...both apologized for our behavior in the past...then had some good ass, I can't stand you but cant leave you alone, hot, freaky sex! Now keep in mind that I said he wasn't the relationship type, but this time last year told me that should he ever decide to make that move to a committed relationship (marriage)...I would be the one. And even though we haven't been together for awhile, I've always held onto the idea that he'd eventually outgrow his "player" mentality and come on home to me. So after our sex session, he asks me what I'd say if he told me he was thinking about getting married?
THE LOW...
He wasn't talking about getting married to me. Told me he appreciates all I do, that I've always been there, wants to see me happy...but is considering settling down...with someone else. Then actually seemed confused that I wasn't happy for him. I waited 'til he left, curled up in the fetal position on the couch, and had one last good cry in the name of love. We'll always be friends, but for real fam...that shyt broke my heart.
*sigh*
Back to the Highs...
(High #4)I got up the next morning...and brushed that shit off my shoulder. Told myself "his lost" and dont stress. He'll eventually realize what he missed out on...they always do. Reminded myself that I have so much more to be thankful for and that hey, apparently "love" just aint for me. *shrugs* This is a high for me, because any other time, homeboys news would've sent me into a long phase of depression & self-doubt...but now...yeah my heart is still in a million little pieces...but I'm gonna keep on keepin on. Just more evidence that I've been taking my "big girl pill", so I feel good about that!
So, I'm celebrating my "highs" this weekend. I dont know where I'm goin or what I'm doin yet. But all I know, is come Monday morning, whatever happens this weekend...dont blame me!
Why is it that every time I decide to swear off men (more specifically...sex), ALLL of a sudden I'm gettin smacked with dick every time I turn around? Now, normally I wouldn't have a problem with that (hehehehe), but DAYUM...this shyt just aint right.
I'm finally all content 'n shyt with being by myself for a while, then here comes "G" wanting to come back. Ummmmm...ok. That may be a STRONG possibility. I ended things kind of abruptly...chose another muthafucka that I thought was more "worth-while". HA! Bad BAD move. Decided we're gonna move slow this time and see where things lead.
K...no problem there...but (says prayer)
*Fava Gawd be a chastity belt & give me the strength to withhold the freaky intentions I have for this man...cause he gives me FEVER! (fans self...WHEW)! Amen*
Then my damn phone rings @3am. And it just so happens to be my friend "J". For those of you who dont know who "J" is, he's a friend whom I've known for 'bout 20 years who wanted to be MORE than friends. Haven't spoken to him since he took me to game 6 of the Cavs playoffs in '07, then spent a week together at the Cape & I wouldn't give him no lovin. Went off on me about how I keep choosing muthafuckas instead of gettin wit a real man like him. Maybe he was right. *shrugs*
He was calling to offer an olive branch of sorts. Told me to get a babysitter for the night cause he'd just gotten into town & is coming to swoop me up for the Cavs/Pistons game tonight.
Uh...hell to the yeah...I'm goin!
*side eye* What the fuggya'll thought?
I just hope it doesn't lead to him tryin to "get" with me again...at least not right now. It's a little more pressure than a sistah can take right now. I did make it clear that I just want us to maintain our friendship right now and he said that was cool. But you men....yeah...we'll see...
Not to mention, that all of a sudden, other various "encounters" of mine have started crawling out of the woodwork...tom'bout"You been on my mind"..."What's been up? Can we get together?"
::blink...blink::
Why all you muthafuckascomin around at the same gat-damn time???!!!
GEESH!!!
All this attention is making me feel like I'm...
I mean...I already think I am (hehehehe)....but damn...talk about an ego booster.
What's a girl to do?
Anywho...knockin off the job early so I can go get cute for the game tonight. I'll worry about how to juggle all this d*ck later.
I woke up this morning feelin GOOD! At first I couldn't quite put my finger on it...just smilin and happy for no gat-damn reason.
Then I said "Maybe it's the weather." It's been raining & all gloomy 'n shyt for the past couple of days...but today the sun is shining brightly and it's a comfortable 70 degrees. That can put a gal in a good mood, right?
But that wasn't it...
Then I just contributed it to the fact that's it's been one helluva week and I feel good about the weekend finally being here.
But nope...that wasn't it, either...
It could be that the "one I let get away" has been callin 'n whispering sweet nothings in my ear for the last two weeks & told me last night he's comin home to me. But...
ok...ok...I cant lie...that's got ALOT to do with the smile I'm sportin today *cheese eatin grin*
But then it hit me...
For once in a long, long, LONG time...I have no drama in my life. I mean...sure...I got bill collectors on my ass like they want to take my first born from me. Have to deal with all the everyday bullshit just like everyone else in the free world does. But...there's no EXTRA shit jumpin off...know what I mean?
No worthless, selfish assholes tryin to fuck me over...or the crazy, young ass girls they like to fuck doin drive-by's past my damn house. No one tryin to screw me over or string me along. No lies, deceit, tears, or fears. For once I KNOW that those around me are down for me...no hidden agendas...just unconditional, for real for real love & friendship!!!
